Big beefy Superstars such as myself love wrestling, mainly because we’re too chunky for other sports.

I have always rooted for the badasses of the sport like Randy Orton, Edge, D-X, Stone Cold Steve Austin, the original nWo, and the entire Evolution stable – they were cocky, they were legitimate assholes, but they could always bring the business in the ring.

John Cena, when he first made the transition from being a plain-vanilla white boy in his “Ruthless Aggression” character to a full-on Vanilla Ice clone with his battle raps, was one of my favorites back in the day. He was white as shit, but carried himself like a dawg.

This was the first battle rap that really caught me – him taking on the Olympic gold medalist Kurt Angle in one of the funniest skits I’ve seen. Kurt Angle, in particular, was hilarious, with his dig on how he couldn’t believe he actually found someone in WWE who was even whiter than him (it’s true, it’s true).

But the ultimate battle rap was when the Big Show challenged the Doctor of Thuganomics to a showdown, and got completely and thoroughly punked out.

Best lines of the night:

You need to hit them situps too
You ain’t exactly the leanest
Forget seeing me bro
You can’t even see your own penis!

And mine is bigger than your finger
It’s as big as your whole head
You think I’m comin’ up short?
That’s not what yo’ momma said!

Burn!