Archives for posts with tag: Lianne Salcedo

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I like this picture.

While I have no plans of ever being a family man, this shot makes me feel positively parental.

These are My Kids, all of whom have at one time or another have been assigned under me as Account Dictators in Training (ADIT) – and have been responsible for some of the most memorable moments in my McCann life.

It’s funny how they each have their own personalities and quirks that have made bossing them around such fun.

Menggay, a.k.a. Penguin, is the troublemaking thug with a history of finding herself in the middle of catastrophes and disasters (trademark lines: “I’m so stressed!!!” and “I want to die!!!”), but has the uncanny ability to gracefully charm her way out of potential trainwrecks, and has a sterling record of absolutely zero sabit. (She unfortunately also has been cursed with a track record of being hurled into the swimming pool at every single party we’ve thrown at Lianne’s hacienda)

Carlos, a.k.a. OshKosh, is the teacher’s pet, who takes after me in all the ways that matter, i.e. churning out smashing PowerPoint decks, sneaking in to work an hour after stag time, making all the girls laglag-panty and the badings sikip-brip, etc. and wears socks even less than I do.

Lianne, a.k.a. Leetul Gurl, is the deceivingly innocent-looking girl next door who is actually a wild child even worse than Lila Fowler raised to the power of Jessica Wakefield. She’s eternally the last man standing at all of our parties, and drinks more than an Irish sailor. I shudder to think of when she’s eventually a mother and begins breastfeeding – she’ll probably be dishing out a 50/50 blend of breastmilk and San Mig Light; that’s how loaded-up this girl is.

I love these kids. None of them have ever shown me the least bit of respect, or treated me like a dignified vessel for the Holy Spirit that I am, but it’s all good.

In honor of the brave men and women who were left standing after the carnage of 1/17. 

 

Just for the record, the big white post is NOT a phallic symbol but a metaphor for frustration and unsatisfied desires.

The problem with being the only dude in a team made up of spoiled donya bratitas is that they push you around, send you to buy them coffee and vodka, and occasionally make furniture out of you.

Sofa

MDJ Superstar would just like to go on record to say that when he started working out to build muscle that would attract beautiful women, he meant that in a sexual kind of way, and not to be made into a bench whenever Monobloc happens to be unavailable…

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