Archives for posts with tag: fail

They were brave warriors, noble and true.

They bore tough, resilient armors, hardy enough to resist the most ferocious battering from oceans of misfortune, yet light and pliable enough to allow them to gaze up at the stars every night, dreaming, wondering, “Life.. what does it hold for us?”

They had hopes. They had dreams. They had ambitions and visions, aspirations and goals.

But above all, they had each other.

Their names were Tiffany and Amber, and they were two beautiful young crabs in love.

They swore to each other, with claws intertwined after one particularly lusty, sweaty evening of fierce lovemaking, that they would always be true to each other. They would strive to be better crustaceans together. They would take care of each other, and they would live for each other.

Little did they know that in addition to this, they would die together as well.

Join us on this brief documentary celebrating how the one brief, glorious blaze of love shared by young Tiffany and Amber was tragically snuffed out by the voracious appetites of two incredibly good-looking, adorable, slightly nutty yet staggeringly sweet Superstars likewise in love, MDJ & Zee.

Shed a tear for the end of the love shared by Tiffany & Amber.

Yet forget not to celebrate the courage with which they faced death together.

If only we, as humans, could learn to be as brave.

* Production notes: (1) Real crab experts would have spotted right from the start that the crabs in question were, in fact, male, and should not have been named “Tiffany” and “Amber,” but “Timothy” and “Andrew.” (2) All footage is entirely unscripted, and is representative of the general silliness that goes on during the dates of the very-much-twitterpated MDJ & Zee, (3) If you enjoyed this video, kindly share us your appreciation by depositing a very large gratuity in our PayPal accounts, preferably in increments of $1,000.

As good as I think I am in shimmying, gyrating, and a multitude of other lascivious sensuous motions, I have never, ever been able to master the seductive art of hula-hooping.

 

This was a picture taken at Lianne’s hacienda last Saturday night, approximately .87 seconds after I started trying to give her hula hoop a whirl around my rather girthy hips.


 

FAIL!

 

MDJ Superstar may have been blessed with many great and awe-inspiring gifts, i.e. a sultry smile, artistic skills, politeness, and an obscenely hairy chest, but hula hooping certainly wasn’t one of them…

…or more appropriately, MDJ Superstar BECOMES Betty La Fea.

This is hands-down the lousiest Halloween costume I have ever done. Took about three minutes of thinking, and about 45 seconds of execution.

I suppose I haven’t got the right to complain about it being “ugly”. I mean, that kind of is the whole point of being Ugly Betty, right?

P.S. Some people didn’t get the concept and mistakenly ran up to me breathlessly, asking, “Are you Hagrid?” At that moment, I wanted to become very small and imperceptible.

[PREAMBLE: Mead Johnson released a new version of the ad today, October 24, in response to the algebra boo-boo discussed below. Material can be found here.]

Someone pointed out an ad that Enfakid A+ placed in the Philippine Daily Inquirer this morning. It’s a gatefold centerspread – pretty pricey, from what I recall.

Here’s how it looked.

Pretty simple.

You then open the gatefold, to reveal this:

To this, I have just one thing to say: DUH.

(Actually, I have a second thing to say: PEMDAS)

(And if you remember your basic PEMDAS, you will realize that the answer is not FOURTEEN, but rather, FIVE.)

Enfakid A+, YOU ARE A FAIL.

(The funny part is, this passed through Accounts, Creatives, Client, Print Production, ASC, and nobody bothered to point out the mathematical fallacy in this ad. Just goes to prove one basic truth about the Advertising industry – we all suck at math.)

 

P.S.

I want to explain the advertising process from conceptualization to publication, just so you all understand why I find this so ridiculous.

After Client briefs Agency…

  1. Agency prepares a rough concept study (“compre”), usually just a low-res JPEG for faster manipulation, saving, and emailing
  2. Compre is cleared internally with the management team, creative director, accounts team, and strat planner to ensure it’s good creative work, on strategy, and has no grammatical/typographical errors
  3. Agency presents compre to client – for a special execution like this, it will normally be printed at full scale, and properly mocked up in a newspaper, so client can clearly grasp the concept.
  4. Once compre is approved, a print producer will assign the actual final artwork (“FA”) to a print production house, who will lay out the material in hi-res, observing all the little nuances important to publication – bleed margins, proper fonts and graphic elements, page dimensions, etc.
  5. Accounts/creative teams will check the FA JPEG for accuracy and faithfulness with the original compre, and send to client for approval on layout and graphic elements.
  6. Agency sends a laser printout of the FA in actual size to client, for client to proofread at actual size.
  7. Agency will prepare a digital proof using actual newsprint material, and send to client for approval of how the colors and graphics come out – very crucial, since different papers react differently to ink. client physically signs off on the digital proof.
  8. Once agency/print production house receive the signed proof, they proceed to download the file in the proper format for turnover to publication. print producer gives the file a final once-over to ensure the proper specs.
  9. Agency ensures material has been approved by the Ad Standards Council (ASC) prior to turning over the file and proof to publication.
  10. Account executive of the publication reviews the material, ensures everything is good and proper, then turns it over for actual production.

Okay, so considering this material went through at least TEN different stages of clearance by at least SEVEN different parties – HOW could an error like this have happened?

My current favorite blog of the moment is the FAIL Blog. I feel slightly loony at times, since I’m normally all alone locked up in my room at one in the morning, and just end up spontaneously bursting into 12-minute long fits of laughter at all the wonderful crazy stuff they post up there.

Here are some of MDJ Superstar’s favorites:

Rapist Fail
Honestly. If Mr. Black Brotha Newscaster had challenged the segment producer to a fistfight immediately afterwards in a dimly-lit, poorly-ventilated parking compound, I wouldn’t blame him.

Rivet Fail
If this little bit of outdoor advertising had been intentional, I would have no qualms about sending it in to the Cannes advertising awards. But as it is, I have to stop and wonder if they really had no clue what the eff was going on.


Manhood Fail
I want to believe that this guy owns one of those fancy-ass newfangled non-QWERTY keyboards where the letters “A” and “Z” are actually nine inches apart from each other (i.e. Superstar proportions), really I do, but somehow, I highly doubt it…


Forget the Huffington Post, guys – the FAIL Blog pwns all!

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