Archives for posts with tag: cheese

Once upon a time, there lived a little Superstar.

He was not a particularly handsome or talented or wealthy Superstar. In fact, as far as Superstars go, he probably fell on the lower end of the spectrum – cute enough but not heart-stoppingly so, amusing enough but not outright funny, pleasant enough but not distinguishedly sweet. He was an intersection of kind-of’s and sort-of’s, a nondescript middle ground halfway down the highway to superlative.

He was gifted with one special gift though: an ego as robust and swollen as a ripe watermelon slightly past its prime. He carried himself with a swagger, determined to achieve through sheer force of character what he could not achieve through more overt physical charms. That was all he had, after all, but it was something he carried in spades: a shamelessly invincible sense of self-worth that allowed him to steamroll people into believing he was, in fact, Super.

What people did not realize though was that hidden behind the bluster and bravado of his Superstar nom-de-plume, was the soul of a tiny, scared, insecure little boy, closer to the emotional fortitude of a 6-year-old than his 29 year-old physique, with strapping 18-inch biceps and scruffy biker’s goatee, would suggest.

He was scared.

He was fake.

And he was lonely.

And then, one day, this Superstar met a Girl.

This girl had eyes that seemed to be woven of liquid smoke, deeply entrancing and heavy with both mystery and promise. She had a way of gazing into the eyes of the Superstar, and stripping away the layers of swagger and bluster he had painstakingly forged for himself through years of shame and insecurity.

“Be true to yourself, Superstar,” she would whisper. “Be the man you know yourself to sincerely be.”

And just like that, she stirred a yearning within the trembling fraud Superstar. “I will be honest,” he whispered back. “For you, I will be true.”

And into the sunlight, the Superstar stepped forth. “It’s better to be true-per than Super,” he chuckled to himself, shaking his head slyly over his clumsy pun. Away came the swagger. Away dropped the fraud. Away fell the desire to impress with facade.

And the Superstar swore to the Girl With The Eyes of Liquid Smoke that he would no longer be selfish and self-centered and aloof and withdrawn. He would look outwards with her, accept the beauty of a world embroidered with love, and embrace a life of Spice Girls-inspired “2 Become 1″-ness.

And he knew that beside her was where he wanted to be. Beside her was where he was the happiest. Beside her was where he could learn to be brave and strong and true.

Beside her was where he was made to be.

Beside the Girl With The Eyes of Liquid Smoke.

While waiting to board my flight back home to Manila, I felt it – as pungent as a ripe cheese, as persistent as a broken promise, as irresistible as Wendell Ramos: It was the urge to write!

And not in prose, the urge insisted, but in meter, in rhyme, and in verse!

And so I succumbed.

This is a poem I wrote in honor of Thailand. It’s REALLY GOOD.

=====

Where The Elephants Go To Die*

Thailand smells of lemongrass,
Cilantro and hot chilies.
But sleeping in my bed alone
Sure did give me the willies.

A ghost came by to visit me;
I could have done without.
It made me want to scream with fear
(Though real men should shout).

But gosh, the malls! The retail stores!
The shopping boulevards!
Telling myself not to whip out
My credit card was hards!

(…OK, that was a bad rhyme…)

I almost bought a pair of sneaks
From Onitsuka Tiger,
But I recalled the girl back home
And gifts that I must buy her.

By that same logic, I felt obliged
To find a snazzy present.
But nothing seemed to catch my eye.
Coke sure is effervescent.

I had a blast, but shan’t return
To good old BKK.
The “girls” that populate the bars
Are ladyboys or gay.

The Ladyboys of Thailand

=====

* Please note that the title of this poem had absolutely nothing to do with the content. If there’s one thing I learned from The Dave Barry School of Poetic Profundity, it’s that the less a poem has to do with what it’s called, the more spectacular its chances of winning an award. It’s true. Just look at all the hardware he’s won for poetic achievement. Really.

I love cheese. It’s good, it’s healthy, and you can literally do so much with it – bake with it, melt it, make dips out of it, fry it, bread it, dice it, et cetera. I love the way it feels in my mouth, and one of my absolute favorite things is when you get that sweet spot where it’s kinda-sorta-toasty-sunog, but still gooey-stretchy-stringy-melty.

Now, I’m not much of a cook. Possibly the most I have personally done with cheese in the kitchen is pitch it into the microwave, and melt up a bowl for me to eat while watching the latest episode of MythBusters. Which is why I found what Eden Cheese did last Monday, December 14, at the historic Araneta coliseum so astounding – they set a new World Record for the most number of unique dishes on display, but with one tantalizing twist: every single one of them featured cheese.

I’m told that the official Guinness mark was set in 2007 by India, a nation of over 1-billion people, at 4,668 unique dishes.

The Philippines on the other hand has a population of roughly 90-million, with 75% falling into the dirt-poor classification – which makes this particular feat so stunning.

I was personally astounded by the turnout at the event itself – seven culinary schools from all over stepped up to contribute their own recipes to the world record attempt. There was no financial reward at stake – just the opportunity to stand up and show the world what the Filipino is capable of. In fact, I’m told that MIHCA, the Magsaysay Institute for Hospitality & Culinary Arts came up with thousands in a matter of three weeks. And the dishes they came up were superb.

Forgot what this was called, but for the sake of posterity, let’s just dub it “MDJ Superporkloin a la Cheese.”

I was particularly impressed by their professionalism and technique – they weren’t just mass-producing the world-record recipes, they were doing full styling and plating for each dish they proudly set forth.

The array of dishes everyone came up with was overwhelming. Literally the entire floor and lower box area of Araneta Coliseum was covered with various cheese-themed dishes – from appetizers to salads to soups to sandwiches to entrees and even to desserts! This was probably the first time the Big Dome didn’t smell like sweaty socks for a major event.

As a nice little touch, the various schools present (Regina Carmeli, St Paul College Manila, Centro Escolar University, Emilio Aguinaldo College, La Consolacion College, and Arellano University) also came up with cheese carving centerpieces. Here are my two favorite pieces from the night.

It wasn’t immediately apparent to me whether this was Jesus Christ or Santa Claus, so let’s just say it’s a carving of Joaquin Phoenix from his iconic appearance on Letterman.

I loveloveLOVE the craftsmanship on this one, however. The detail on the ledges and facade was really pretty, but the absolutely BRILLIANT touch was the grated cheese sprinkled all over to mimic a fresh snowfall.

Even Sheryn Regis lent her hand (or more accurately, her voice!) to show her support for the Philippines’ thrust for a World Record. She performed a wonderfully moving anthem called “Sarap Ng Buhay” as her own tribute to the creativity and will to spread goodness in the world, which seems to come so naturally to the Filipino people.

She’s tiny, but man that woman has a spectacular pair of lungs!

The Nielsen Company, one of the most respected global research agencies, released their unofficial “Comelec Quick Count” at around 730 in the evening.

The verdict?

India had set the existing Guinness World Record with 4,668 unique dishes on display at the same time and the same place.

On December 14, 2009, the Philippines, still reeling from the various natural disasters, political turmoil, and civil unrest that had struck over the last 4 months did a tiny little bit better than that.

Five thousand.

Eight hundred.

Forty.

Five.

(Okay, that’s a LOT better than India.)

5,845 unique dishes, all of them inspired by cheese, all of them a testament to the great things that are possible with the Pinoy spirit of culinary adventure.

Needless to say, the thousands in attendance were delirious with joy as jetsparks went off and a blizzard of confetti and balloons rained down to celebrate the milestone.

Eden has this tagline that I saw in their latest TV commercials – “Kay daming nagagawa.”

Being at this event showed this to be true on two levels.

On a functional level, it proved without a doubt that cheese can literally inspire limitless possibilities when it comes to dish preparations. I grew up knowing it as palaman or a spaghetti topping or the occasional cheese omelet. But now I know it can do so much more – the 500 chefs and students sweating over their stoves and ovens and dishes and chopping boards proved that beyond a shadow of a doubt.

But on a nobler level, I thought it demonstrated the great things that Filipinos can accomplish when mobilized towards one goal in service of the country. It seemed that everyone in attendance had forgotten their school allegiances or job titles or employers – everyone was there as a Filipino citizen, bursting with pride at the opportunity to be a concrete part of world history.

Kay dami nga talagang magagawa basta sama-sama tayong lahat.

P.S. Saw some of the recipes posted at the Sarap Ng Buhay website – will definitely register and see if it’s not too late for my Gourmet Deluxe Microwaved Eden In A Bowl to be eligible for next year’s world record!

All photography by Paolo Serrano. Follow MDJ Superstar on Twitter!

I love cheese. It’s my absolute all-time favorite food, next only to bacon.

(Tip: The way to my heart therefore is through a bacon cheeseburger.)

You can grate it, slice it, melt it, shred it, cube it, dice it, fondue it, fry it, make a great sex toy with it, and so many more things.

And while I enjoy a good brie or a manchego once in a while, I love cheap supermarket cheese best – especially Eden, which comes in Original, MeltSarap, Sulit Packs, and my absolute favorite – Singles! I could seriously make that papak all day long. Mmm… singles.

I’m not a great chef (in fact I can only cook two things – tortang talong and chicken tinola), but gosh, even I could do this cheese omelette!

The biggest comment I always get whenever anyone sees this material: “Ang yummy ni Papa!”

Well, that wasn’t really the point, but fine…

Kay dami talagang nagagawa!

Creative Agency: JWT Manila
Director: Matthew Rosen
Producer: Lyda Aguinaldo
Creatives: Joe Dy, Carl Urgino, Maan Bautista
Accounts: Golda Roldan, Iea Nepomuceno, Anne Pagaduan
Production House: Unitel/Optima/Hit Productions
Clients: Pam Takai, Alex Dan Tacderas, Martin Cruz, MDJ Superstar

Check this out.

This is my project for the weekend.

One whole Pops n’ Dips pizza from Pizza Hut.

24 delicately-baked Cheezy Pops stuffed with a rich blend of special cheeses, and lightly dusted with a sprinkling of toasted sesame seeds.

A rich montage of pepperoni, Italian sausage, bell peppers, pineapple, onion, ground beef, ham, pork, and mushrooms sinking slowly into a velvety bed of mozzarella and tomato sauce.

All accented with a creamy synthetic cheese sauce filled with mind-blowing artificial flavorings and preservatives, lovingly machine-processed in aseptic factories located somewhere in Nepal.

How can you possibly go wrong?

My diet will go down in flames, but I cannot think of a more glorious way to cement my obesity than with this 1,400 calorie delight.

Om nom nom nom…

 

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