I adore Japanese food. From Omakase to Teriyaki Boy to Izakaya Kikufuji to Tsumura to Isshin to Nanbantei to Tempura Grill to Kamameshi House to Sumo Sam to Urashima and even to Kitaro or Tokyo Tokyo, I will never back down.

That is, at least, until how I saw how Menggay eats her sushi.

My former AE, who quite possibly was down with the flu or a bad case of hemorrhoids when God was handing out nice little things like poise and decorum, has a distinctively unappetizing way of eating that same order of spicy tuna rolls she has for lunch 4 out of 5 times a week.

menggays-food

  1. First, she takes the whole lump of wasabi, which is about the same size as MDJ Superstar’s left testicle (that means it’s quite large), and mixes it into her soy sauce. (Take note: the soy sauce itself measures only about two tablespoons worth.)
  2. She then pours the resulting lumot-green sludge over her sushi.
  3. Next, she knocks off the mayonnaise/cayenne pepper from each roll, and swishes it around in the wasabi sludge until it’s a mildly seasick shade of pinkish-greenish-brownish gray.
  4. After allowing the sushi to ferment in the now-radioactive sludge for approximately three minutes, she then proceeds to down the whole mess.

The Japanese people treasure their sushi. It’s delicate, fresh, clean, and light. I wonder what would happen if I locked Menggay up with a swarthy drunken samurai, a Hattori Hanzo sword, and eight live sea urchins after showing him the great tragedy she inflicts upon their wonderful traditional dish…