Some people grow up to be big, mean, and slightly psychotic.
Mike Tyson certainly did. Although he apparently spent a bit too much time working on the “big”, since all being psychotic did for him was an Evander Holyfield ear sandwich, and what appears to be a dainty filigree seashell tattooed on the side of his head…
In any case, the man is HUGE now. And I don’t mean huge in a Brock Lesnar/Dave Batista/Dwight Howard kind of way – I’m talkin’ Oprah levels here, or quite possibly Kamala the Ugandan Giant after eating Doink the Clown and his three midgets.
Whoever prescribes his medication obviously forgot to check if they carry Diet Prozac or Low-Carb Ritalin at the pharmacy.
I hope he doesn’t end up in prison again, cause he’s so fat his mug shot would probably have to be an aerial.
He’s so fat he needs a boomerang to put his belt on.
He’s so fat, everytime he turns around, it’s his birthday.
He’s so fat, he fell into the Grand Canyon and got stuck.
I really have no credibility in laying the smack down on a fat person. Heaven knows MDJ Superstar is a little bit on the girthy side lately. But still. When someone like me says you’re fat, you really need to be worried…
Tags: fat, Mike Tyson, tragic celebrities
